Alive and Well...

This is my comeback! :)

The Things I have learned....

I found this website called "Things I have learned so far in my Life".  It has kept me thinking about many things.

My weekend in pictures

Had breakfast with a dear friend on Saturday morning.  We had a long talk and a few laughs.  

Played a game of Pool with my husband, brother, and sister in law.  I suck at it!! Big time....

... my niece watched us wondering what the hell we were doing...

And tonight, after my photography class, I saw the big bright moon shining above me.  I managed to take this picture while driving.

Wishing you a happy and productive week....

Me. Without glasses.

I'm trying out a new pair of contact lenses.  It's been a while.  In fact, I haven't wore contact lenses ever since I moved away from my island three years ago.  So I'm still adjusting to my new sight.  Things look smaller when I'm wearing glasses.  I guess the shape of the glass shrinks the images somehow.  I asked a friend of mine who wear glasses if he had notice this before.  He agreed with my observation.

It's funny how people react to appearances.  Nobody at work had seen me before without this obvious object in my face, so it was a shock for some people.

"You look different!"  Duuuhh. Really?

"Your eyes are green!" Well, hazel actually. Today they just look greener than usual.  And this was a girl with whom I have daily interaction.  Didn't she notice before? 

"You look great!" That's the kind of compliment I want to hear to keep me encouraged.

I remember the exact moment I started seeing blurry.  I was eight, I think, and I was in my third grade classroom, writing down some notes on my notebook.  The teacher had written some stuff on the chalkboard that we had to copy.  I was looking back and forth, from the board to my notebook.  At one point, when I was reading the board, something pop in my eyes, and they got teary.  I rubbed them hard, and when I tried to read from the chalkboard again, I couldn't see a thing!

For many years, I hated wearing glasses.  I thought I looked stupid, ugly and nerdy.  And of course, when you get to your teen years, you must look like everybody else.  You want to fit in.  So, as soon as I turned 13, I got my first set of contact lenses. Oh I was so happy.  I wore them all the time, neglecting my poor glasses, leaving them on the side, on some dusty corner.

I rediscovered them some years ago.  I had to get a new prescription and, while waiting for my turn in the eye glasses shop, I spotted a nice, clean looking pair that got my attention.  I tried them on and they fit perfectly.  So I changed my mind and got them instead.  I've been enjoying the simplicity and practicality of eye glasses for quite a while now.  But after three years, I want  to update my look.  And this is the fastest and most efficient way I know.

Story of a Child

Yesterday I read an article on Newsweek that moved me.  It was titled Family Portraits, and the subject really took me by surprise. This is the article's description:

"A unique volunteer group helps parents preserve precious images of babies that are stillborn or expected to die soon after birth."

Motherhood is a sensitive subject for me to discuss.  Not because I'm not interested on becoming one, but because I've been trying for five years without success.  I've been through all the stages: from total excitement about the new endeavor, to disappointment and frustration.  Right now, I'm in the "I don't really care" stage, and I am trying to enjoy my life to the fullest, getting involved on things that are dear to me.  But there was a moment, a brief period in which I was able to conceive, and the experience was magical.

I was still living in my island, and I had recently changed doctors.  This new guy took a new approach to the situation, and after two months on treatment, the oh-so-hated pregnancy test finally came back POSITIVE.  I just couldn't believe my eyes, and I did two more tests just to make sure it wasn't a cruel joke from the circumstances.  The doctor confirmed it with an ultrasound, and I had the first photo of my baby.  It was blurry and you couldn't see a baby still, but it was my baby alright.  The happiness that surrounded our house was like any other, making plans, talking about it all the time, hopeful about our future together.  Then I went to my next appointment the following month, only to find out that there was no heartbeat.  The baby never made it past the second month.  For me, the most hurting memory of that moment was to see my husband cry.  In ten years I've only seen him cry once, and that was it.  I'm really sorry I haven't been able to give him a child... and it really breaks my heart every time I think about it.

So when I read this article, the idea of photographing a stillborn baby comes to me as a beautiful gift.  Because, for whatever brief or long the moment is, it was your baby, it was your child.  Holding on to those images means that this little person existed and it made an impact on your life. And no one will ever take that away from you.

Gone...not for so long

I had been quiet for some time now.  Regrouping, putting things in the right perspective.  Last week was a long and tough week, at work and home.  Since my two coworkers were laid off, we had acquire more responsibilities than we had before, so that took some adjustments.  That's done.  At home, I had been helping my brother and his wife to set up their own design freelance business.  Color Depth Design is already on its way to become a full production business.  I sat down with my sister in law and covered all the basics.  She already started working on her first project, so she's been busy.

My photography class starts this next weekend, and I'm looking forward to it.    I need to tackle the technicalities of flash photography if I ever want to make some money out of this hobby of mine.  I'm also working on building my portfolio.  I have been reading a lot on the subject and I think I know what I want to do.  In the meantime you can check out my photoblog, Think!Photography.  I'll be doing some updates on the layout, so new things are coming their way.

Layoffs all around me

Oh, goodness, it's been too long since I last sat down to write on this blog of mine.  Last week I had an unexpected trip to Memphis that threw me off my regular schedule.  I'll fill you in with details later on.  First, things first.

This week started with bad news for everybody.  Layoffs are all over the place and the unemployment rate just keeps rising.  The bank I work for is no exception.  Yesterday, two co-workers of mine were fired.  Literally, they used to sit next to me.  I was chatting with the girl, having a laugh at some funny story of hers.  She answered her phone, stepped away from her desk, and I just continued working on whatever it was I was working on.  She came back silently, came to me and handed out the stuff she was working on and said," I'm giving you this because I'm no longer working for this company."  I looked at her and she had teary eyes. It took me by surprise, and I just felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  I felt so bad for her that some tears fell from my eyes too.

I guess the worst part is knowing that I'm no better than she is.  I consider myself a mediocre employee, although for some reason my boss thinks the opposite.  I haven't been giving my one hundred percent at work simply because I'm bored with what I do and I truly wish I could move on to other things.  But yesterday I was grateful.  We cannot afford loosing the security of this job right now. Not now, when I'm trying to help out my brother and his family, and his wife just lost her job too.

So today our group is meeting early in the morning to redistribute the work.  We were six, and now we're four, so our plates are going to be pretty full from now on.  I just want this week to be over, so that we can move on and get used to our new routine at work.

Back to reality

It's 11:18 p.m. in this part of the world.  I am about to go to sleep, but didn't want to finish my day without dropping a note.

We got back from our getaway weekend and I'm really tired.  Tired but happy.  We had an awesome time with some newfound friends.  Actually, we've known them for a while, but never ever had we been away with them.  

Tomorrow we go back to work again, and it's supposed to be chilly so I'll have to look through my clothing for my warmest pieces.  Otherwise I will freeze my butt off.

Weekend with friends

We went away for the weekend and haven't been able to sit down to write.  I don't think I will be able to do it tonight either.  But here's a colorful pic I took with my camera phone.  I think I'll be using this little device more often.  Happy weekend to all!!

Living life as art: The exercise of creative thinking

This has been my weeklong subject of research.  I have been searching the Internet for information on Creativity and it's been quite revealing.  I would like to share some final thoughts on the subject.

Prior to this little research of mine, I had wondered whatever happened to the universal concept of education.  The approach previously adopted by generations of great thinkers, where they saw learning as a "universe"of ideas to be studied.  Philosophy, art, mathematics, all these came to exist because the minds of these great thinkers came together to understand the why and the how of the basics of the human experience.  Then, somewhere in the twentieth century, education came to be a more technical matter.  It diminished the universal ideas to a couple of mandatory classes on our schedule, becoming an annoyance in the list of subject needed to complete before graduation.

The creative mind needs to go back to the roots: it needs to focus on the universal ideas that brought us to be in the first place.  Truth, beauty, goodness, these are the most crucial of them all.  To be able to transcend our daily life into grander things, one must direct one's own vision towards these basic concepts.  To acknowledge the beauty of everything that surrounds us; to search for the truth on our own; to liberate the goodness within us: this is the kind of art that moves others and transforms lives.

The TIME magazine published an article a couple of years ago titled "The Hidden Secrets of the Creative Mind".  In it, the authors explain that creative ideas do not come from one brilliant spark of sudden insight bur from " a chain reaction of many tiny sparks while executing an idea".  We must fill our minds with different thoughts, different concepts.  These would eventually turn into the new kind of thinking that could ultimately reveal something completely new and authentic.  In it they also explained how writers lie J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis both engaged on heated intellectual battles with a group of non-traditional  Christians professors called the Inklings.  We all know how these discussions ended: they gave both the ground wrk in which they created these fantastic literary works filled with rich characters and a unique spiritual undertone.

So, regardless of your field of expertise or your own creative affair, you need to give sometime to yourself to explore what's out there.  Read new authors, write on new subjects, photograph different angles, and design something completely different from your own style.  Dare your mind to reach its full potential, and in the process let it absorb the newness of it all.  You'll see how new ideas will eventually pop up and how you'll become a better artist in the end.

Resources:

TIME Magazine

Ted:Talks

Thinking with Somebody else's head Podcast

Wikipedia